LEADERSHIP WIRED BLOG

HOW TO MAKE A MEMORY

BY JOHN C. MAXWELL.
DECEMBER 6, 2013

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Last week we celebrated Thanksgiving here in the United States. I hope yours was warm and filled with love for family and friends. Margaret and I spent Thanksgiving weekend in New York City with our kids and grandkids, and it was a wonderful experience filled with good memories.

With every experience, we make memories. But I believe that by being highly intentional, we can create opportunities for deep, meaningful memories of connection and love. Here are the elements we need to make memories that we will be able to look back on fondly for years to come:

1. Initiative: Make Something Happen.
Our visit to New York on Thanksgiving weekend didn’t just happen. Margaret and I decided to plan the trip months ago. And we invited the kids and grandkids as soon as we decided to go. The first step in creating a memorable experience is the decision to do it. Start by deciding to lead your life, rather than just letting it lead you. Be intentional about creating memories.

2. Time: Set Aside Time to Make It Happen.
We all have busy schedules, and it’s easy for time with family and friends to fall by the wayside. The way I avoid that is to schedule that time first. When we decided to go to New York, we put it on the calendar, with the understanding that nothing else would interfere with our family time together. Don’t let your calendar rule you. Remember that “quality time” comes out of “quantity time.”

3. Planning: Plan For Something to Happen.
Soon after we decided to go, the planning began. Again, we knew that it wouldn’t just happen. My assistant Linda worked hard to help us with travel, lodging, and touristy activities. Of course, some favorite memories may come from spontaneous events or even mishaps, but by planning ahead you’ll be opening up the opportunities for memorable moments.

4. Creativity: Find a Way to Make Something Happen.
It didn’t take us long to discover that a lot of people like to spend Thanksgiving in New York. Everything from finding a hotel to booking a Thanksgiving dinner took creativity. Even when you come up against obstacles in creating a memory, do what you can to make it happen. And don’t be afraid to think outside the box. We had special dietary restrictions in our group, but with creativity we found a place that could accommodate all our needs.

5. Shared Experiences: Make Something Happen Together.
Of course, our first goal in making this memory was to share it with the kids and grandkids. And we had many shared experiences together over those few days, from hearing carolers in Central Park, to riding the wooden escalators at Macy’s, to seeing the balloons for the Thanksgiving Day Parade as they were inflated. Remember that shared memories are made up of little moments together. Be intentional about embracing them, and everyone will benefit.

6. Mementos: Show That Something Happened.
When we visited Macy’s, one thing the grandkids did was each pick out an ornament to help them remember the trip. And of course, we took a lot of photos, so we can look back at our experiences. What you choose as a memento doesn’t have to be big or expensive; it just has to be meaningful to you.

7. Relive the Memory: Talk About What Happened.
My favorite time together on the trip was during Thanksgiving dinner. We were in a quiet side room at the restaurant, so we were able to go around the table sharing what we were thankful for from the past year. It was incredibly touching. By putting your experiences into words, you strengthen the memories, so you can enjoy the stories for years to come.

One of the last things I did with the grandkids is something I do every time we have a special time together: I made up a story for them. This time, it was about how all five of them named the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love coming up with the ideas, and the grandkids enjoy being “in” each story. It’s yet another memory that we intentionally create with the family.

I hope in the coming holiday season, you will make memories with your loved ones. Nothing lasts in this world except people and our relationships with them. By creating memories, you add richness to your relationships and end up with something to enjoy over and over again in the future.

The Top 5 Books on Ministry

December 5, 2013 By Frank Viola 

These are my top five picks on the subject of ministry. All are classics in their own right.

I suspect that most contemporary Christians who are immersed in “pop-Christianity” today have never heard of them. I’m hoping that this post will change that for many.

1. What Shall This Man Do?

2. The School of Christ

3. The Master Plan of Evangelism

4. No Other Foundation

5. The Release of the Spirit

The Coming Evangelical Collapse

December 4, 2013 By Frank Viola 

The late Michael Spencer (a.k.a. iMonk) was one of my favorite bloggers. I remember skimming through his blog years ago. His podcast section intrigued me, so I gave a listen to one of them.

The result: I was monumentally impressed.

In the podcast, he tackled some difficult issues. I agreed with everything he said, and I found his insights stimulating.

To my surprise, Michael took time to review my books, Pagan Christianity, Reimagining Church, From Eternity to Here, and Jesus Manifesto (the essay). And he was fair, honest, and kind (smile) in his assessments.

While I never had the privilege of meeting Michael in person nor talked with him on the phone, three descriptions come to mind based on my reading of his blog and my interactions with him via email:

1. Intellectually honest

2. Christ-centered

3. Insightful

May his tribe increase.

It’s no wonder that his blog became one of the most popular among Christians today.

In 2009, Michael wrote an article entitled “The Coming Evangelical Collapse.”

Within a few days after it was published, six different people forwarded the article to me. It was picked up by The Christian Science Monitor and The Drudge Report. Even Mark Galli from Christianity Today weighed in.

I thought Michael’s article was superb. And I agree with his observations. Although I have no idea what will happen on the Christian landscape in the next 10 years, his predications map very closely to George Barna’s forecast.

That said, I’d like to make four brief observations about the article and the discussion surrounding it:

1) Michael foresees the two main types of churches growing heavily in the next 10 years as being the house church and the high church denominations (Catholic, Orthodox, and as Mark Galli rightly observes, Anglican).

I agree with this. George Barna’s research has already shown that the micro-church is among the fastest growing segment of the Christian world today. And according to his data, it will be even more so in the next 10 years.

On first glance, one may think that there isn’t much in common with low churches and high churches. But that’s not the case. There’s one common feature that is central to both: Their strong emphasis on community.

Both high churches and (many) low churches strongly emphasize the importance of Christian community in their theology.

On this score, a good number of Anglicans and Catholics have read my book Reimagining Church (which isn’t a “house church” book, but instead expresses the organic nature of the body of Christ). Their main comment is that my theology of the church is similar to theirs.

By that they mean the strong focus on the fellowship of the Godhead, the intimate connection between the Trinity and the believing community, the incredibly close identity of Jesus Christ with His church, the strong emphasis on Christian community and the corporate (collective) nature of the Christian life.

God’s people are crying out for authentic community. It’s in our blood and the marrow of our bones. It’s a spiritual instinct that all devoted Christians have. Some are more in touch with it than others, but it’s there.

High church denominations are highly communitarian in their theology, and some are quite good at practicing it. Micro churches try to embody it; some do it better than others.

Both are tapping into something that is part of the DNA of the ekklesia.

2) I thought Mark Galli’s response to Spencer’s article was very good. However, I feel that Galli is defining evangelicalism much more broadly than Spencer is. To my mind, Spencer is speaking of “evangelicalism” more in terms of a religious (“church”) system and a cultural and political movement. Galli, on the other hand, seems to be speaking of it as a set of theological beliefs and (more) a spiritual mood.

Here’s a quote from Galli’s piece:

Evangelicalism is a word that describes a phenomenon that transcends time and place. British historian David Bebbington talks about it in terms of certain theological emphases and behaviors (crucicentrism, conversionism, biblicism, and activism). I think of it more as a religious mood. It is a spiritual sensibility that includes pessimism about human nature, a longing to be converted from the worst of our selves, mystical moments when Jesus Christ is experienced, a conviction that nothing can be redeemed without suffering and that resurrection is ultimate reality, and a passion to make a difference in the world.

If we define evangelicalism this way, then I would agree that it’s not going to go away any time soon.

3) I consider myself to be an evangelical theologically in the way that Galli defines it. That said, I believe that evangelicalism (much like classic Pentecostalism) was born with certain birth defects.

Namely, it rooted itself in modernity (which has just as many problems as postmodernity). It failed to fully grasp and teach God’s Eternal Purpose (Eph. 3:11). And it retained the Western individualistic bent that marks historic Protestantism.

This was true for the post-war shapers of early evangelicalism as they broke from “the isolated fundamentalism” (to quote Roger Olson) of their time. It was often true for some of the neo-evangelicals as well.

To borrow a phrase from Carl F. Henry, “the uneasy conscience” of evangelicalism is just now beginning to surface. So it seems to me anyway. (Henry wrote The Uneasy Conscience of Modern Fundamentalism.)

My friend Hal Miller has made some astute observations on this score. I’m going to take the liberty to quote him at length simply because what he has to say is so good and so little known.

He writes,

Christianity is culturally relevant when it offers a qualitatively different society. Jesus called it “the kingdom of God.” Paul saw its first outlines in the gathered disciples of Jesus, and so he called them ekklesia – we translate it “church”- a Greek word denoting citizens assembled to attend to their common project, their city.

The evangelicals missed this. Evangelicalism sought to transform people and so transform the world. They did not see that something might be missing from this vision, something their assumption of American individualism would hide from them. The true Christian vision is to transform people, transforming them into a people, and so transform the world.

The evangelicals missed that middle term. They could not see the church as a foretaste of the new society; it was a club for the new individuals. The evangelicals simply dressed American individualism in Christian clothing. They ended up with new isolated individuals, but in the old society. Since their expression of Christianity did not take form as a new society, it quickly became culturally irrelevant, even though it was admirably culturally open.

To be culturally relevant, Christianity must offer an alternative. God has indeed chosen to deal with persons as individuals- in this the evangelicals were right. Yet they are not simply individuals; they become members of a social reality called ekklesia, which is the entering wedge of the new society of God’s making.

Too often, for example, we assume that evangelism involves the simple aggregation of more and more new individuals. If enough people are “born again,” the world’s problems will diminish. But the experience of the last twenty years- in which we had more and more people “born again” as well as more and more marital tragedies, more and more international tension, and more and more bondage to the demons of our age- seems a perfectly contrived counter-example to this theory.

The Christian calling requires being reconciled with God, to be sure. But it also requires being a new, reconciling society characterized by forgiveness, acceptance, and responsibility in a common task- a society qualitatively different from its culture, yet engaged with it. Little gatherings of Christians for worship and mutual help in being disciples become the seeds of God’s coming new society.

Such a new society will be culturally relevant because it springs from God’s movement among God’s people. The persons who make up this new society live their faith in the face of day-to-day problems that they share with the world around them. They face the same questions as unbelievers: finding joy and meaning in work, living at peace both personally and globally, raising responsible and compassionate children. And in facing those questions, Christian faith becomes relevant even for unbelievers.

Imagine a group of people gathering to help each other in the common task of seeing God’s kingdom incarnated in their work, in their families, in their towns, in their world, in their midst, and (rather than only) in their individual lives. This gathering is ekklesia. It will be relevant to its world because it lives the life of the kingdom in the world, not apart from it.

4) One of the questions I was left with after reading Spencer’s article was, “Michael very rightly puts his finger on some of the key problems of modern evangelicalism, but why those problems? What is the cause of so many of them?”

It is my conviction that since evangelicalism’s inception, we have focused on the symptomatic problems instead of trying to go to their roots. The systemic problems have been largely ignored.

George Barna and I have tried to challenge evangelical Christians with the idea that one of the systemic problems is the very system of organized Christianity – particularly as it relates to the expression of the local church.

In the past, many Christians would never hold that out as a possibility. In fact, before 2005, no Christian publisher would have published books like Pagan Christianity and Reimagining Church.

That has changed.

The uneasy conscience of evangelicalism is beginning to cry out. God’s people are looking for answers. And they are looking in some new and sometimes unfamiliar places (such as the high church traditions).

I think John’s Stott’s famous quote is where we need to pitch our tents today.

The hallmark of an authentic evangelicalism is not the uncritical repetition of old traditions, but the willingness to submit every tradition, however ancient, to fresh biblical scrutiny and, if necessary, reform.

Thank you, Michael, for stirring up our thoughts and our hearts. May your article cause all of us to return to the living Person of Jesus Christ as the Center and the Reality of the church. Not just in theory, but in experience.

Click here to read Michael’s original article.

First of four from Mark Miller (greatleaderserve.org)

Monday, June 25, 2012

BIG ROCKS FIRST

I recently started working on my 2013 calendar… have you? I’ve found over the years that unless I start thinking about the new year at least 6 months in advance, I spend a lot of time trying to catch up and make things work once the new year begins. My process is neither complicated nor original but it works for  me.

Many of you may have heard Stephen Covey talk about time and priority management. One of my favorite illustrations is when Covey takes a large jar and begins by filling it up about halfway with very small rocks. He says these rocks represent the day-to-day time demands such as meetings, emails, distractions, etc. I guess today he’d include text messages, Facebook and Twitter.

Then, he pulls out a half dozen larger rocks – each one about the size of a tennis ball. These represent the important things in our lives… one is for our health, one is for our family, one is for our friends, one is for our faith, etc.

He then tries to put these important things in the jar on top of the small rocks he had previously placed there. You guessed it, there’s not room for all the rocks! This is a powerful metaphor for your life and mine. How often have you felt there just wasn’t enough time to get everything done? But, the story doesn’t end there…

Next, he says, “Let’s try that again.” He empties all the rocks from the jar. He thenplaces the big rocks in first. “Now, let’s see if we have room for some of those small rocks,” he says. As he begins to pour the small rocks into the jar, a miracle occurs – they all fit! Yes, he has to shake the jar a bit to use every nook and cranny, but they all fit. I did this illustration in India in front of a couple of thousand leaders and at this moment in the demonstraton, the place erupted in applause. It was magical.

This principle of the Big Rocks First has made quite an impact in my life. For many years, I’ve tried to put the big rocks in my life on the calendar first. If, from time to time, there’s not room for everything, at least it’s the small rocks that don’t fit.

So, as it relates to my calendar for 2013, here are some of the big rocks I’ve already put on the calendar:

• Vacation with my family
• Personal Development (TED Conference; The Leadership Summit)
• Important Meetings
• Key Deadlines
• Focus Days

As leaders, our time is our primary currency. Where we invest this limited capital makes a tremendous difference. I hope this illustration will help you think deliberately about your big rocks. What are they? Does your calendar reflect your priorities? Start now, so that 2013 will be your most successful year yet! 

What are the big rocks for 2014 that you need to put on your calendar now?

From Mark Miller

Monday, November 19, 2012

I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN FALLS APART

Last week, I wrote a post entitled, Start with the End in Mind. It was about the importance of taking the long view when creating a personal development plan. Let’s assume for the moment you do that and craft an amazing plan for the upcoming year. How will you respond when your plan doesn’t come together as you envisioned?

Back in the fall of last year, I created a wonderful plan for my life and leadership in 2012. Today, as I begin in earnest to work on my 2013 plan, I realize 2012 did not go as planned – for me, it never does.

So how do I leverage my 2012 experience to create a better 2013? The key for me is to learn from the past but never live there. It’s also critical to remember something Howard Hendricks taught me years ago:

Experience is not the best teacher; EVALUATED experience is.

Following are some of the key questions I use in my planning process; I hope you’ll find something here to help you make 2013 the best year of your life.

What did I learn in the last 12 months?

As I reflect on this question, several things come to mind.

• I must continue to leverage my strengths
• If I don’t put my priorities on the calendar, time will evaporate
• I do my most important work in the white space on my calendar
• Daily disciplines are critical for me

There’s much more I learned, but I’ll not bore you with the details.

What did I accomplish this year?

Even though I didn’t execute my plan as written, I did…

• Celebrate 30 years of marriage!
• Have great times away with my family
• Launch a new book and finish the first draft of my next book
• Write 140 blog posts to date (3 per week)
• Visit a lot of Chick-fil-A restaurants – and ate more than my share of sandwiches
• Reach platinum status on Delta by October – this was not one of my goals.

What did I fail to do that I planned to do?

For me, my greatest disappointment has been in my Fitness and my Faith accounts. I’ve struggled with the daily disciplines I need to stay grounded and fit. These will be at the top of my priorities in 2013.

Here’s what I’ve concluded after many years of creating personal plans: if I create an aggressive plan, I won’t get it all done. On the surface, it may look like the plan fell apart. However, for me, I accomplish significantly more by having an aggressive plan.

I’d rather accomplish 60% of a bold plan than 100% of a timid one.

My encouragement to you: aim high and don’t be surprised if your plan “falls apart.” As long as you’re growing, you’re winning!

From Mark Miller

Monday, October 14, 2013

TIME MANAGEMENT IS NOT THE ISSUE

A leaders’ time is their most important asset. If we are effective as leaders, where we invest our time yields a return. However, many leaders, myself included, have often pursued a different path. We chased the holy grail of improving our time management skills. We were wrong.

Yes, I’m a huge fan of eliminating time wasters and creating efficiencies – this is common sense. However, time management is a myth – you may have heard this before, but I’ll say it again…

NO ONE CAN MANAGE TIME.

Time is its own boss, and its metronome is set: 86,400 seconds in a day, 168 hours in a week, 24 hours in a day and 365.2 days per year. That’s it. You can’t manage that.

So, if time management is not the right paradigm for a leader to embrace, how should we approach the question of how we are to steward our time? I’m gaining more and more clarity on this – for me, the real issue is alignment.

Alignment as it relates to the investment of my seconds, minutes and hours toward the accomplishment of what really matters. Alignment is a challenge we can approach and a battle we can win – unlike attacking the impenetrable walls of time.

How does this idea work? Here are some of my recent thoughts.

Alignment begins with clarity on what matters most. As with much of leadership, this is much easier to say than to do. There will always be competing priorities and tensions that must be managed. However, as a leader, if you aren’t clear on a short list of YOUR priorities, my guess is you’ll never approach real alignment.

Alignment is enhanced when those around you understand your priorities. If you’re in a position of leadership, you’re attempting to lead people to some desired future state. True alignment requires people to know not only the destination but the path you’ll take to get there. It’s also helpful if those around you understand your role and personal priorities. Perhaps they can help you stay on course.

Alignment is challenged when we allow others to redirect our use of time. I’ve never met an effective leader who was in total control of their time. Part of our ongoing role is to respond to the unexpected. However, we’ve got to be extremely careful not to let others hijack our calendar. If we do, we can quickly become misaligned. Firefighters are rarely aligned with the long-term goals of an organization. How much time have you invested in the last 6 months fighting someone else’s fires?

Alignment is achieved when we invest our best energy on what matters most. This is probably stating the obvious. It makes sense;it is very hard to do. As we approach the new year, perhaps a look back is in order. Have you ever done a time audit? Consider a detailed review of the last year and ask yourself: How much time did I invest on my priorities?

Alignment does not guarantee success. It only enhances our chances. Sometimes, you and I can invest 100% of our time on activities that are of utmost importance and still fail to achieve the desired outcomes. That is to be expected from time to time. You will not win them all. However, if goals are not achieved, I want to be sure it’s not because I was out of alignment.

As you begin to think about your 2014 Plan, what are your priorities? How can you personally be more aligned in the new year?

From Mark Miller

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

START WITH THE END IN MIND

Steven Covey was the first person I remember hearing say, “Start with the end in mind.” I do this instinctively in my work, but until a few years ago, I had never applied this principle to my life.

When I started working with my coach, Daniel Harkavy, one of the first activities he asked me to do was to identify the primary “accounts” in my life. He suggested five to seven as a good number. Here’s what I came up with:

Faith – Fitness – Family – Influence – Finances

(I know, it would have been great to find a word for influence that starts with the letter F.)

Identifying the accounts wasn’t the hard part of the assignment. Next, he told me to block one day, eight full hours, to answer the following question:

What do I want to be true in each of these accounts 30 years from now?

That’s starting with the end in mind! He asked me to write a narrative for each account with as much detail as I could manage. He also asked me to write an explanation or defense of why I wanted what I had written to become a reality.

This was an extremely powerful exercise for me. In some ways it changed my life, and in other ways it defined my life.

As Daniel explained after I’d finished this exercise, the rest is merely execution. All I have to do is live my life so the things I wrote – my 30-year vision – become reality. My personal planning process is built on this concept. Here are the key steps in my process:

1.  Review my 30-year vision – I call it my Life Plan. I want to see if any of my aspirations have changed. The Life Plan is a dynamic document.

2.  Then I ask myself the following questions:

What did I learn in the last 12 months?

What did I accomplish in the last 12 months?

What did I fail to accomplish that I planned to do and why?

(I’ll write more about what I’ve learned about myself this year in an upcoming post.)

3.  Then, I often select an area of personal focus for the year – some call this a “Deep Dive.” I was inspired when I learned this was a practice of the legendary basketball coach, John Wooden. One year, his personal focus was rebounding. Imagine, a year of studying rebounding – that blew my mind!

4.  Next, I set a few goals for each account and the appropriate strategies and tactics.

5.  Finally, I write it all down. Last year, I also created a mind map to summarize my plan. I keep it on a card in my pocket and use it as the screen saver on my computer as a constant reminder of what I’m trying to accomplish.

I know I’ve included a lot of details here, but I don’t want you to miss the big idea:The 30-year perspective has made a huge impact on my life. It not only captures my heart, it is the heart of my personal planning process.

Start with the end in mind!

Have you started working on your personal plan for 2014? If not, a 30-year look would be a great place to start!